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[Do I need Counseling?] [Therapeutic Tips/Advice]
[Relaxation Podcast] [Additional Concerns for College Students] [Rape Trauma Syndrome]
Do I need counseling?
a self-assessment
Do you…
- Try to avoid thinking about the assault but find yourself constantly distracted by it?
- Feel alone, like no one else understands?
- Keep thinking about what you could have done differently to avoid the assault?
- Feel like you want to hide, disappear or die?
- Wish people would just leave you alone?
- Feel ashamed, embarrassed or dirty?
- Have a hard time concentrating on your coursework?
- Blame yourself for what happened to you?
- Replay the incidents of the assault?
- Feel sad, empty, or full of despair?
- Have problems sleeping or eating?
- Feel like a part of you has died?
- Wish that you could just be back to “normal” again?
If you have answered yes to any of the above questions, you are being negatively impacted by sexual assault. Reaching out for help will relieve these things and help you put your life back together again. Remember, you are not alone, and you don’t have to continue feeling this way.
To talk to someone or to get more information, please come by the CARE office at 202 Student Services I, Room 208, across from Starbucks or call
(949) 824-7273
How counseling/therapy can be helpful
Sexual assault has a painful psychological impact on the survivor. A professional who is knowledgeable in the area of sexual assault can provide guidance and support as you work through the difficult aspects of the healing process.
What to expect form counseling/therapy
Though everyone heals in their own way and at their own pace, man survivors describe working through these issues during the healing process:
- Shock/disbelief
- Denial
- Fear
- Self-blame/guilt/shame
- Learning about sexual assault
- Challenging beliefs of self-blame and feelings of guilt
- Anger/Rage
- Sadness
- Acceptance of the event as part of one’s life
- Incorporation of the event into one’s life
- Empowerment
Things to look for when choosing a therapist:
Ask yourself the following questions:
- Do you feel safe with this individual?
- Do you feel like you are being heard?
- Does it feel like this individual has knowledge about sexual assault and it’s impact on the survivor?
- Do you feel supported?
- Do you feel the individual understands you?
Consider finding another therapist if the person you are working with is:
- Asking what or why questions about the incident
- Blaming or judging your actions or feelings
- Dismissing your feelings
- Minimizing your experience
Why you may resist reaching out for help:
The following are some common reasons people are reluctant to get help
“I feel so ashamed”
Most people who are sexually assaulted feel a tremendous amount of shame and embarrassment. Many survivors identify this as one of the most damaging affects of being assaulted. Keeping the feelings of shame and embarrassment inside intensifies them. Talking about your feelings will allow you to release them.
“If I ignore it, it will go away.”
This is a natural part of wanting to deny the painful experience of sexual assault. Though it is difficult to talk about the impact that sexual assault has on one’s life, pretending that it didn’t happen often prolongs the pain and suffering. Talking about the sexual assault and it’s effect on your life is what will help diminish your pain.
“It’s all my fault”
Feeling responsible for the assault is a common reaction to being violated. Self-blame may represent an attempt to undo what happened, regain control and avoid feeling vulnerable. Though it is a natural part of working through a traumatic event, blaming yourself can lead to feelings of guilt and can intensify the feelings of shame. It is important to remember that the only person responsible for a sexual assault is the perpetrator.
“I went to a therapist and it didn’t help”
When looking for a therapist it is important that you find someone who you can connect with. Sometimes this means meeting with several different therapists until you find one that you feel comfortable with and that you can trust. Working with someone who specialized in sexual assault/abuse can be very helpful.
This information was taken from from: Abarbanel, G. and Richman, G. (1989) The Rape Victim.
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