Are you in an Abusive Relationship: a Self-Assessment

Look over the following questions. Think about how you are being treated and how you treat your partner. Remember, when one person scares, hurts or continually puts down the other person, it's abuse.

Does your partner…

____ Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family?

____ Put down your accomplishments or goals?

____ Make you feel like you are unable to make decisions?

____ Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance?

____ Tell you that you are nothing without them?

____ Treat you roughly – grab, push, pinch, shove, or hit you?

____ Call you several times a night or show up to make sure you are where you said you

         would be?

____ Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you?

____ Blame you for how they feel or act?

____ Pressure you sexually for things you aren’t ready for?

____ Make you feel like there “is no way out” of the relationship

____ Prevent you from doing things you want – like spending time with your friends or

         family?

____ Try to keep you from leaving after a fight or leave you somewhere after a fight to 

         “teach you a lesson?”

Do You…

____ Sometimes feel scared of how your partner will act?

____ Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner’s behavior?

____ Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about

         yourself?

____ Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?

____ Feel like no matter what you do, your partner is never happy with you?

____ Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?

____ Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you

         broke up?

If any of these things are happening in your relationship, please come and talk to someone at CARE (949) 824-7273.  There are people here at UCI and in the community who are here to help.  You do not have to go through this alone.