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Additional Concerns for College Students

 

In addition to the common reactions most sexual assault victims have after the trauma, there are additional concerns that you, as a college student, might face.  Understand  that recovering from trauma while being a college student can be an overwhelming and scary process.  It is important to know that there are resources available to you on the UCI campus as well as in the community to help you through this difficult time.

 UCI Campus Assault Resources and Education (CARE) is a great resource for college students, with expertise on the specific issues a college student might be faced with when dealing with the trauma of sexual assault. 

UCI CARE (949) 824-7273

 

  • What if I see him on campus or if we are in a class together? 
  • Chances are, if you are both on the same campus, you probably will see him again.  Remember, you did nothing wrong and you have every right to be there.  Walk with your head held high – without any shame or embarrassment.  He is the only one who should be afraid to see you.  If you see him, go on with your business.  Only you can decide if it’s safe for you to talk to him, but be prepared that he may not give you the response you need.  If it is uncomfortable to be in the same class, there are options you can pursue through UCI Judicial Affairs 

  • We have mutual friends and belong to the same groups.  Some people believe him and some believe me.  Others try to be in the middle: 
  • This is common because acquaintance rape usually involves two people who have come to know each other (often through friends or social groups.)  People will take sides.  Usually, those who were closer to him before will remain aligned with him.  Likewise, your true friends will support you.  For those who try to remain ‘neutral’ it can causes greater conflict because you may wonder if they believe you.  Surround yourself with people who support, respect, and believe you.  Trust your instincts about staying in the same social groups with the person who raped you.  It is your choice.  Remember, you did nothing wrong – he did.
  • I’m not sure I’m ready to start dating again.  I don’t know if I can trust other guys not to move too fast or try to hurt me in the same way: 
  • Many survivors have this concern.  They trusted their instincts and the person who hurt them.  They never expected it to happen and now they wonder if it can happen again.  Take your time with dating.  Start in social situations with others and slowly move toward other situations that feel safe and comfortable.  For example, go on double dates or daytime dates to public places.  At first, you may want to avoid situations where you will feel isolated or with little control (e.g. a guy’s bedroom).  Spend several outings with someone before you move to more secluded, intimate settings.  Then, when you’re ready, be clear about your sexual limits before the date and reinforce those limits on the date. 
  • I was drunk at the time of the assault.  I don’t even remember everything that happened.  I’m worried about reporting since I was drinking alcohol underage. 
  • The majority of acquaintance rapes involve alcohol or other drugs.  Even if you were under the influence, you did not deserve to be raped.  Most law enforcement and school authorities do not penalize victims for making a report.  At UCI, you will not be penalized for underage drinking and this should not get in the way of reporting the rape.
  • Ever since this happened, it’s been hard for me to go to classes.  I’m worried I might fail or ruin my GPA: 
  • It will take some time to get back to your routine and to be able to focus on your studies again.  UCI offers assistance by contacting professors of students who are experiencing a crisis (without disclosing the reason for your absences or missed assignments).  This can be arranged through the Student counseling Center, UCI CARE, or the UCI Office of the Ombuds.  You might want to notify your professors on your own.  Again, it’s up to you as to what you want to share.  If you have missed several classes, you may want to consider a medical leave or withdraw for the term to avoid failing the classes.  Please go to: UCI Student Judicial Affairs, UCI CARE, UCI Office of the Ombuds
  • I’m not sure if I should tell my parents.  I’ll be going home soon for break and they will know I’m not the same: 
  • If you tell your parents, will it be more helpful for you?  Many rape survivors find it hard to say the words, but they are grateful to have their parents love and support after they have told them.  Others are concerned that it will hurt their parents, or they won’t understand.  Only you can decide if it will be better for you if they know.  It may be helpful to talk with a counselor about your concerns to help you with this important decision.   

Where to Get Help

Borrowed from “Coping with Sexual Assault: A  Guide to Healing, Resolution and Recovery.” (TS Nelson Publications, www.tsnelson.com)